Disney Snerk

Nothing I could give you today would be more hilarious than this is.

Enjoy, Scumfucketeers.

CBTT Plays Cassandra: Gunwalker Predictions

A lot of people are covering gunwalker right now and the invocation of Executive Privellege on the documents surrounding it.  I'm not going to bore you with the details-if you are reading this blog, you probably know most of them.  I'm just going to go all Cassandra of Troy here and make a couple of predictions.

#1: The Vanderbouegh fantasy doesn't happen; Gunwalker is NOT the scandal that delegitamizes this administration.  While the idea of one lone blogger breaking a scandal that brings a sitting POTUS down is a powerful one, that just isn't going to happen.  Like it or not, the Old Media Industrial Complex is circling the wagons here and protecting their investment.
#2: After a long period of partisan haggling, the GOP succeeds in getting Justice to produce documentation and....it's TURR'RISTS!  W invoked EP for the same reason several times, citing a danger to personnel in the field.  Maybe legit, maybe not-which is the tricky thing about EP.  While Gunwalker likely had nothing to do with terrorists, some post dated documentation wouldn't be hard to fabricate.  There are some suspected links between Hezbollah and various Mexican cartels-but the important thing is that most brain dead mouth breathers in TV land hear the term 'TURR'RISM' and start bleating like sheep demanding that we take more of their money and freedom.
#3: The whole thing blows over just in time for the election, with bloggers once more relegated to Tinfoil Hat territory.  Maybe another AWB goes through after the election, maybe not-but more importantly people will only snicker at anything they didn't see on their cable news propaganda ticker.
#4: The Drug War marches on over the broken bodies of anyone who dissents.
#5: Rachael Maddow continues to be a cunt.

This will be the last thing I post about Gunwalker.  The legitimacy of  this government has never been in question for me.  They've been killing my people too long.

Get to work, mother fuckers.  I'd rather most of you survive.

Uh...

..yeah I got nothin.

Hellacious muthafuckin' tooth abscess has had me laid up all weekend, albeit the kind of laid up where you still have to go to work.  Abscess lanced today.  Root canal wednesday.  Hydros, wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

Not sure how I feel about Gabe Suarez's remarks.  Is the most dangerous enemy the one who speaks our gunnie language, who believes much of what we do, and blatantly writes off the question of right and wrong?

Take music.  These are pussy hydros.

Trash Fiction Roundup

Our Hero made his usual weekly pitstop to the used bookstore and picked up three charming pieces of trash.  Personally, my greatest love is for trashy fiction, with the notable exception of "supernatural romance."  I like my paperbacks to be brazen and cheap, with too much eyeliner and a gutter accent.  Why?  It lacks pretension; it is what it is, pure entertainment without the great groaning load of 'social commentary' that a heavyweight writer feels is necessary.

Anyway, my purchases this time were, in no particular order:

Shadowrun: 2XS by Nigel Findley - I was surprised by how readable this was; there is just too much peripheral gaming fiction that is just a chore to read, selling only by virtue of the game company logo on the front.  Shadowrun is a setting that I'm admittedly in love with, the perfect high-contrast future for dystopian fantasies.  The central premise is weak, and it falls into the trap of most Shadowrun novels in that the characters spend Nuyen like fucking candy, but overall I was surprised by how much I cared about the main character and enjoyed the rather drunken back-and-forth weaving between plots.  My favorite Shadowrun novel is still Shadowboxer, but this one is a close second and that means it is well above the herd.

The Regulators by Richard Bachman - Desperation was a great story, but somehow I missed The Regulators and now having read them both I can say the Regulators is the better story.  It suffers some in the characterization department because the action starts so soon, and Desperation definitely has a more interesting cast of protagonists...but The Regulators is both more far out and more fun, a rollicking mayhem ride through conceptual reality and ancient Lovecraftian evil.  Also, the Regulators has a much better Tak.

Zero, by Eric Van Lustbader - Eric Van Lustbader has the dubious honor of being the only author I read that I am embarrassed to admit to.  I'm about halfway through Zero now, and it is the typical garish Lustbader novel-cheap graphic sex interspersed with improbably zen violence.  It would be easy for me to pick apart point by point, but why?  No matter how much I make fun of it, I keep reading this guy's shit.  The main protagonist is underwhelming, but the cool shit he does is fun enough that I can just shut down my brain and ride along going "WHEEEEEEE SLICE HIS HEAD OFF WHITE NINJA!" and it works out just fine.

Final Commentary: John Norman and Eric Van Lustbader both inspire me.  Both are still actively publishing novels, and if the critics haven't lynched Lustbader and the feminists haven't lynched Norman, I figure I can drop Codex on the world with minimal fear of lynching.  The continued existence of these two men proves that somewhere out there in the writing world, there is a place for a scumfuck like me.

And oddly on the same vein...

..because for fuck's sake I should be posting something funny once in awhile.

Think of the Children

An offensive message and possibly some jailbait tits.  What more do you sick fucks want?

Cribbed from You Sick Bastards on facebook, a vast virtual conglomerate of the internets half baked witticisms.  I find it keeps me in memes.

Father's Day Thoughts, Mk 2

Another year, another Father's Day that doesn't really belong to me.

Rather than my own fatherhood duties, meditations on the meaning of fatherhood in a world that is fast forgetting it, I find myself thinking about my old man instead.  In the end, Father's Day still feels like his holiday, not mine-does that ever go away?

When I was growing up, it felt like Grandpapa had all the answers.  I know now that some of them were wrong, but they were still answers.  But I've never felt like that; in most ways I feel like I never have any answers at all.  Often I delegate hard decisions to Amanda and just handle the bellowing.  That isn't right, and it isn't that I think she knows better than I do, but internally I can never quite rationalize that in Gracie's eyes I am that motherfucker that Grandpapa was to me as a kid, that I am the one with all the answers when the chips are down, when the shit hits the fan, when the cue is behind the 8-Ball.

I'm not the world's greatest dad; I know that for damn sure.  Too lazy and self absorbed maybe-my brain is always on my own convoluted plots for world domination and double head, plus, well, I'm fuckin' baked all the time.  I don't think I could ever be one of those dads that sacrifices every scrap of personal identity for the status of patriarch.  I've made whatever peace I can with this-but Gracie still doesn't know that I am not superman, the look she gives me every day that says Daddy Can Fix It All has not gone away.

I don't ask myself to be perfect; that is an irrational expectation even for non stoner parents.  But God Almighty, how the fuck am I ever going to live up to that little girl's expectations?  If they were even half the expectations I had of my old man, the answer is "not very goddamn well, sir."

I miss you Grandpapa.  I'll try to be you as best I can.

Self Improvement Plan

I've found myself in a deeper-than-usual funk lately.

My work load has increased substantially due to a deficit in staff and I get one day off on a good week.  And the actual work stress is getting worse due to a truly staggering level of micromanagement that is coming down the pipes.  That shit don't help, but it isn't the cause.

No, the cause is that I feel like I'm just stagnating.  Preps aren't moving forward fast enough and my workouts have stalled and I haven't been making any progress on either the book or my online story and god knows that I haven't had two mouths on my cock in too long...it just feels like all of my goals are in limbo, and I fucking hate that.

So I've created a list of self improvement plans to implement over the next month.

#1: Stop smoking weed during the day.  Amanda does this and it seems to help her productivity; I'm going to cut my smoking down to early mornings when I get off work and nights after Gracie goes to bed.
#2: Go to bed earlier in the morning.  Working graveyards, you sometimes end up sleeping catchascatch can but I need to start getting up earlier so I'm going to try to go to bed right after work whenever possible.
#3: Schedule workouts around karate classes; go running if I'm not going to class.  This means evening running and definitely requires number 2 or else I'll never get enough sleep.  Morning runs are fun, but there are too many days where work is stressful and I just need to chill and get high.
#4: Reserve my spot in the rifle class and try to do plenty of shooting beforehand, particularly with pistol.  The rifle class requires some basic pistol work and even though I suck, I need to at least be able to put rounds on paper reliably to get the most out of the class I want.
#5: Eat dinner with my family every night.  If I start getting up earlier, I can help Amanda with dinner and make sure to get some time with them every day.  I think this will start improving my mood and physical health as much as anything else on the list; half the time I'm eating maybe one meal a day and that meal tends to be sugary\fatty crap because it's all I know how to cook.  I think family dinner would be a good start for us, no matter how hard it is to rationalize with my graveyard shift sleep schedule.
#6: Help my lovely wife with her new dehydration business (She has an excalibur on order and an endless supply of free produce) to bring in additional income for more preps, as well as for creating our own field rations.  Kick food storage into high gear.
#7: Meet some new people for fuck's sake.  I swear, being antisocial is the worst impediment ever if you are Unicorn Hunting.  I'd like for the two of us to go out for that very purpose once a month at least; I think that even making the effort together is both a sexual turn on and a balm for my troubled spirit.  One of the things I miss about the time before we had a kid was going out girl watching all the time-and this is the town for it man, let me tell ya.

Anyway, I need to get out of this funk and start moving forward.  I suppose it really is rather stupid of me to try to bring order to this universe when I don't even have my own shit in order.  And yeah, I know most of you are not here for my personal drama, you just want to hear me say fuck a lot.  So feel free to stick around for next time-I'll be sure to come up with something extra disturbing just for you.  You depraved bastard.

A Pep Talk About World War III

You know, I never see this scenario mentioned-in survival forums, on gun blogs.  Or if it is, it is always some Red Dawn variant or maybe a UN takeover at the outside, something with a very clear USA = GOOD GUYS motif.  But I want to bring up something that the bent angle of my dope addled mind can see, but your nice, upright citizen mind has probably not considered.

What if we-not the Russians, not the Chicoms, not the Muslims-are the imperial power in the next world war?  And what if that war has already started?

That a world war is coming is, well, pretty much proven by history.  Sooner or later, there is always a fucking world war.  But even as I see patriots scrambling to fight the evil empire at home, I think "well...what is the cheapest way to buy the loyalty of the citizens?"  Generally, with lots of foreign blood.  Again, that is sociological and historical fact-focusing your rage outward means you stop asking nasty questions about your civil liberties.  And that doesn't even count the staggering majority that will settle down as soon as R's start replacing D's in fedgov.

I'm gonna be honest, America.  This question makes my stomach quease.  But we already have the military power to do this thing, with the strategic bases to make it happen quickly, and, ha ha, oh yeah, a motherfucking precedent for whatever stupid jackoff occupies the oval office to go to war without the approval of Congress.  So whats a brother to do?  I don't want to support the evil world conquering empire, but I also don't really want to live in a country that *loses* a fuckin' world war.  Or even one that wins, because by the time you win, you are already such a bastard that it doesn't matter.

I don't know what the answer to this one is.  But I want it out there, because it seems like a lot of people haven't thought of it that way, for all the "OMG OBAMA = NAZI" rhetoric that gets bandied around.

I want you to wonder, patriots, threepers, preppers, gun nuts, agitators, subversives, scumfucks like me.  I want you all to wonder about where you stand in that theoretical conflict.  Because the scenario may be the one you least expect-and this one is more likely than you think.

Drinking the Glock Kool Aid

Yeah, you read that right.

I've been itching for a modern polymer fightin' pistol for some time and I got the opportunity to finger fuck a glock 21 recently, which is the one that I'm interested in.  People bitch about glock ergos, but I have giant rape ape hands so it wasn't too bad for me, with the caveat of course that I hadn't shot it yet.  I got my springfield during the great 1911 renaissance of 2001 or so, after reading my umpteenth billion article about them, but I want a higher capacity and more reliability for my primary fighting pistol.

Why a 21, exactly?  Because I may be fiendishly cheating on God's Pistol, but I'll be damned if I'm going to use anything but God's Caliber.

The Glock 21SF is what I am most interested in; the Internets seems to have a higher opinion of it and I want an integrated rail, though for what I don't know-I just like having options.  Of course, buying a new pistol means a new holster, new magazines and a new manual of arms, so I am currently researching all that shit.  Amanda is all hot and bothered to get her paws on my Springfield GI 1911; she has proven herself a good shot with it and likes the ergos, so this decision on my part will allow us to put off buying her a dedicated pistol for awhile and we can both take a pistol class together later if we want to.

Anyway, I keep hearing about magazine compatability in the G21 vs. the G21SF-one will take the other's mags but it doesn't go both ways.  Does anybody have the definitive word?  I'd like to keep my PAW magazine looting as simple as possible.  (Also my pre PAW magazine buying, but really, is that as much fun to say?)  I'd also like to know a little bit about what off brand magazines to avoid and what holsters tend to work best. 

What say you, Scumfucketeers?