Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Grand Ann Barnhardt Debacle

You know, I don't like Ann Barnhardt.  I get that everyone else in the survivalist blogosphere seems to like her and I even understand why, but I simply cannot dig somebody that wants to enforce archaic sexual mores by the sword.  Why?  Well, I don't particularly care to be hauled off to re-education camp to cure my deviant pervert devil-inspired sex practices, regardless of how well the precedent is established or how much "constitutional" language you dress it up in.  The Liberty Sphere needs to stop losing sleep over sodomy and start worrying about genuine threats to human liberty and dignity.

But damn that woman is apparently getting the shaft from Fedgov, and I find it frankly disgusting.

I don't read her shit regularly so I have very little context, but if it is actually an "Economic Waco" being perpetuated on her for nothing more than speaking out, as Wraith seems to think, then the last few shreds of legitimacy this government is clinging to are shrivelling up the Wicked Witch of the East.  The fact that I don't like her and would live in fear were she suddenly appointed overlord is irrelevant; this is the IRS coming down hard on a blogger who is politically inconvenient and popular.  It wouldn't matter if she was the most gun controllin-est, taxin-est, foreign warrin-est blogger in the entire country-she should not have to face financial terrorism just because the Leviathan doesn't like what she say.

I will be interested in how this story plays out.  There may be more to it than I knew.  But...well, my own supposed intellectual integrity, along with the concept of Jefferson's Rightful Liberty, demands that I respect the rights of those that I disagree with or even those I despise.  And this is a pretty good example of how this administration is not hampered in the least by that little concept.  Of course, the very fact that the term "Economic Waco" exists means there were others-I would be very surprised if she was the first.

Interesting times.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

In Defense of Cock Fighting

Admit it; you clicked the title thinking this was going to be about weiner dueling.

Actually, today's jabberfest is about the actual sport of cock fighting and bull fighting, and how a bunch of scruffy hippies are fucking it up.

Listen you tofu dripping wussbags: that bull, the one whose rights you are so nobly defending, or the fighting cock you are donating 10% of your latest cafe latte purchase to...those animals are fucking warriors, warriors worth 10 of your stinking "progressive" carcass any day of the week.  You take that bull and you turn him out in some field, he's going to get bored and ram the fence down, then go find himself a matador, likely an unwilling matador, and the cock is going to go out and fight himself a hawk.  These animals are bred for violence, and they are proud.  All you have to do is look at one to see the pride; your vaunted "empathy" never told you that, did it?  That animal stands tall and dies honorably, which no one will ever say for you.

No, you're too busy out there trying to save these poor bulls and roosters.  But fuck you.  Those critters are better off than you are, and the absolute worst thing you can do to these proud, beautiful creatures and their centuries old tradition is turn them into a bunch of fucking milksops like yourself.

Fuck you very much, "Progress."

Friday, October 19, 2012

Femslash Friday - Megashy x Ariel

 Shamelessly stolen as the rest of my Femslash Friday media tends to be.  But I'll link this one as I have a feeling I'll be stealing more in the future.

I imagine Megashy x Ariel as a good pairing; one quiet and innocent, one bold and forward.  I can definitely say it works for me.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

A Field Guide to Scumfuck Tags

So I finally decided to party like it's Livejournal 2003 and add blogtags to my various entries over time.  Of course, I can't do something simple and practical; it is practically a gunblogger standard to have some snarky epithet for each category.  To have "Guns" as your tag for gun related posts is apparently quite gauche.

Anyway, the reason this has been so long in coming, besides the obvious (my crippling apathy) is because I haven't come up with a good set of witty tags for my various categories yet.  But as soon as I do, this post will go live and you will all be awed by my technicolor wit.  So here goes, motherfucker.

SCUMFUCK EGO - These posts are all about me.  Me, my personal life, my trials and tribulations, my widdle biddy feewings and all the things that make me the awesome post apocalyptic god emperor that I am in my own mind

STRAPPED - Gun and weapon related posts, for my love of all things shooty, stabby and bashy, along with the accessories to each.

MASHED POTATO JOHNSON'S STINKY NUGGET EXPRESS - Posts about weed and probably a catch all for any other drug related post.  Drugs, drug policy, stoner rants and raves, and somehow against my will, a little bit of cannabis culture.

SWIMMING UPSTREAM TO SPAWN - Posts about parenting, being a parent, surviving parenthood, and funny Gracie stories.  This category was almost named FUCK CPS THEY CAN SUCK MY BALLS.

SAID THE HANDMAIDEN TO THE BISHOP - These posts are about sex, sexology, sexism, sexytime, etc.  This is a good category to avoid if you are a social conservative

THE MAGIC KINGDOM - Anything Disney related.  I haven't done any calculations, but this might be the largest category.  Also, there is more crossover with the sex category than you think or are comfortable with.

SCUMFUCK PRAXIS - Any practical, survival related article that I think has actual value to the greater survivalist \ gun owning \ patriot community.  I'm gonna admit, this is gonna be a depressingly small category, but really there are better men than me doing this.

THE MAW OF THE LEVIATHAN - Anything relating to politics, for obvious reasons.

CONAN WITH AN AK - Anything related to Codex Kalachnikova-mostly previews and rants about how hard writing is.

PILL PUSHER CUM HERO - Anything related to Last Call, Last Stand.

FLOTSAM AND JETSAM - Anything related to my other writing projects.

FEMSLASH FRIDAY - Femslash friday entries, conveniently arranged for your fap \ schlick time.

MEDIA WHORE: Books, music, movies, video games.  Reviews, rants, discussions catchall category.

CHRIS BY-THE-THROAT IS FUCKING INSANE - My catchall for the weirdness I love just for being weird.  Thinking on it, this might be the largest category instead-perhaps it could apply to every post.  Concept shamelessly cribbed from Holly Pervocracy.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

My Case for the AK

I have to admit a lot of things about the AR-that they are more accurate, more ergonomic, lighter, accept more accessories, and will make me look more like "one of the good guys" during SHTF.  I have even had to grudgingly concede that a lubed AR is just as reliable as an AK, especially in a semi auto configuration.  (Though you can file this under "Things you can't do with an AR")

All in all, it is hard to argue that the AK is the superior platform and I will not try to do so here.  Rather, I am going to discuss why the AK is the  group platform, both why it was chosen and why it remains so.

Like most Hoosier roughnecks, my first semi auto rifle was an SKS.  Several of my buddies got SKS to match with mine when prepping was just, as Tam likes to put it, a spam can of 7.62, a head colander and a map to the local Big Box store.  So the initial upgrade to the AK was a simple matter of logistics-I could share ammo with the folks who had SKS rifles and use the same front sight tool.  A couple other guys upgraded as well, and generally passed their SKSes on to less fortunate group members who were still stuck with Mosins or shotguns.  (My SKS was pawned for rent money, and I still miss that Norinco whore every day.)

Anyway, that is more or less what it comes down to-it was building off the rifles we had rather than planning for the future.  It was, at heart, a brutal economic decision-but I don't really regret it.  We're wedded to the platform now, in terms of magazines, ammo, spare parts, web gear and most importantly of all muscle memory.  We know the AK, how to take it apart and keep it running, how to sight it in and shoot it.  And perhaps most importantly of all, if a new person shows up with no guns at all, we usually have a spare SKS we can toss them for 200 bucks so they can find a place in the vehicle column and not be totally helpless.

If I had it to do all over again, knowing what I know now about the AR vs. AK debate, I'd go with AR.  But you have to remember that guns and training is a tiny fraction of the prepping equation, and it would be a lot more valuable to me to invest in a new generator, dehydrator, water filter or even a pistol than a new rifle.  There are some concrete disadvantages to the AK not entirely offset by reliability, but not enough to make me tell a group of 25+ motherfuckers "Hey, drop your shit and get new rifles at 900 bucks a pop, along with new ammo, web gear, spare parts and magazines."  And one thing the AK will always have is cost-without optics, a top quality AK is usually about 1000 bucks, whereas a good AR starts at 1000 bucks and goes up-up-up.

I'm just gonna be content with the AK and accept that I won't be making long range sniper shots on any zombies in the near future.  In the end, I think it will prove enough gun for me.  Until then, I will continue to mock AR users by kicking dirt into their barrels.  And I will always love the AK, a beautiful monster, just good enough for a scumfuck like me.

Good night, Scumfucketeers.

No Music on the Front Page? Unacceptable

I don't know why, but her weird awkward dancing just tickles me.  Not sexually, at least not exactly, but it just makes me happy to see it.  At least it isn't that repulsive club shit; it is something charming and primitive and true-to-the-self.  I dunno, man, I dig it.

Not that she isn't completely stuff-in-the-trunkable.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

A Collection of Thoughts for the Day

You know what fucking annoys me when I go to the strip club? Nipple Tassels. Drapery hanging off a tit. You know what I don't go to the strip club to look at? Fucking curtains.

If all you are doing is standing around waiting to be saved, maybe you don't deserve salvation. Get up and put your shoulder to the wheel.

Snitches get stitches and sleep in ditches. Actually, it seems like the stitches are superfluous I would hate to waste medical care on a dead guy.

If I had a hold on time, I'd break the bricks and make you mine. If I had a hold on fate, I'd take my licks and make you wait.

Ah, election season. That magical time when America chooses between a dick in the mouth and a dick in the asshole and somehow always ends up with both.

An assault charge not accompanied by battery implies that you attacked someone without doing damage. Remember, you pussies-go for the gusto.

Today, I shall affect the penetrating yet placid gaze of a cuttlefish...then ink some motherfucker in the face and run like hell.

Okay, walking away from the! Now!! nom nom nom...Now! Fuck me...nom nom!

The real question for humanity is are we on a rocket ship blasting off into the cosmos, or a rusty biplane careening off a cliff? I can't wait to find out either way.

Most people are not worth the carbon. I like to think the rest of us make up for it.

You know that feeling where you have a song that you love that you feel like no one else in the whole world loves? Mine is Black Sabbath's "Illusion of Power" off the really bad Sabbath record (No, the OTHER one, not Born Again with Ian Gillian at the head, god have mercy on us all) called Forbidden. What are yours?

Some people might say "Chris, having the hero of your novel face off against a demon tank in his first on-screen battle is going to make everything else anticlimactic." I say "Bitches, I'm just gettin' started."

Got a full pack of toilet paper, quite the pile of medicine, plenty of Tang, rolling papers and a big pile of canned goods and pasta. Survivalism is never having to say "Shit we gotta get to the store."

If you are only thankful one day a year, chances are you have your priorities wrong.

There are some interesting tidbits about being a geek parent. For instance, sometimes your stories start "Well, Gracie was in her Toy Story towel and I was in my Ninja Turtles towel..."

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Angry Cleaning

Full Disclosure: Today I have had several beers, two joints, and about half a bottle of Crown Royal in honor of the Bastard Alaskan's student loans being paid off.

I think my house would benefit if I drank alone more; when I drink alone I tend to get despondent and when I am despondent I clean.  (It sure beats spouse abuse...u c wot i did thar?)  In any case, it is a massive project to reclaim the ground lost since the storage unit got all eating-disordery on our crappy west side apartment.  I don't miss the bill, but goddamn I cannot see how I am going to make room for any reasonable project without doing a mass evacuation of shit.

The ideal finish to my addled weekend off is our dining room converted into food storage and processing.  It will free up our limited kitchen space, give us room to run another dehydrator, and get down to the nitty gritty of setting up our home made field rations project by allowing us to organize the results better.  But first I need to get rid of the boxes of crap that are stacked to the roof and free up the dining room enough that you can walk through it safely.

I'm going to have another shot, and then get productive.  Get back to work, you slackers.

Friday, October 5, 2012



This week's Femslash Friday is not one of my big ones, but I'm sure Velma + Daphne is good in certain circles.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The One Opinion No One Demanded

Ya'll have been waiting on the edge of your seats for my commentary on the Presidential debates, right?  Sit down and and be electrified.

Please smoke a bowl first; I'm much funnier then.

Not that Romney is any friend of mine, but man, I enjoyed hearing the squeals of the Cult of O on NPR after he was crucified on live TV last night, even with the moderator obviously biased towards the left side of the aisle.  I guess I'm just a natural apostate; I like seeing wannabe utopians face the fact that their brazen idol sucks, all swagger and no rain.

Fundamentally, the reptiles of the GOP old guard are proving what they based their entire decision on: that their boy can beat Obama.  I am convinced of this now, where perhaps I wasn't before given the cult of worship surrounding the big O.  What I am not convinced of is that a Mittens presidency will even put the tiniest speedbump in this careening train to fascist utopia.  Mitt is a Statist and will propose Statist solutions to Statist problems.  That would be the fucking problem right there, and MA is a damn fine example of it. 

Maybe, MAYBE he can hold to the party line on gun rights, which is in itself not enough-I want someone dismantling this asinine surfeit of bizarre restrictions on personal weaponry, not murmuring weakly about "Enforcing current laws."  I want a much better cut of bleeding meat on Gunwalker.  I want GCA & NFA to be a curious relic in history books.  I want fucking Constitutional Carry.  "Supporting Gun Rights" is not "Keeping Things the Exact Same Way They Are."  That alone would reassure me that Individual Liberty and not Heffalump-flavored-tyranny is  the agenda, because it would be ceding a certain tactical advantage to FREEFOR in the form of better access to the really nasty killer toys.  That is, of course, why they will never do it.

Don't tell me about how your boy can beat Obama-that man is an empty suit, a bobble headed media face supported by the most expensive propaganda machine in human history.  And Mittens, for all his faults, has swum in the shark filled waters of political intrigue for a long time and never been eaten.  Sure he can beat Obama.  What you need to convince me of is what advantage we gain by having him in the God-Emperor chair, especially considering the stupid staggering percentage of "Patriots" who will STAND DOWN IMMEDIATELY if that happens.

In the end, the question of Social Justice vs. Individual Freedom will be settled, and not in a debate hall.  You know what I should be doing instead of scrawling this nonsense?  Fucking PT.

Good night, America.