Sunday, September 30, 2012

Hey, isn't this a Gun Blog?

I held off on ordering the Glock, in case you were wondering.  In the end I had to pay for my class and I am working to prioritize training over gear this year.  But I have taken my very first SRUS rifle class.

I was all worried about having crappy gear but really, I had the opposite problem-my gear was great, the BCS rig is pretty much straight tits, my gun ran flawlessly, but I more or less sucked.  I'm prioritizing training ammo so I can really get good at rifle fundamentals-trigger control was a problem for me the whole time because once my blood got pumping from the run and gun my trigger control more or less went to shit.  There ain't no easy fix, except more practice, and Cthulhu knows I'm never going to find a range that is OK with the kind of running and gunning I want to practice, but it has to be done.  My crap vision also impairs me; I don't get a great sight picture with the stock sights. I am *not* okay with being a mediocre shooter.  I also have some equipment based solutions in mind, starting with the rather clever one from this post where you paint the front sight with nail polish.  I'll try that before I go out and buy tech sights, hopefully that will improve my groups.

Anyway, running the 1911 as my pistol the whole time made me really appreciate the trigger time I've had on it; my pistol work was much stronger than my rifle work which I did not expect.  My 1911 is a basic GI model springfield, but despite a few hiccups (mostly from faulty ammunition) it more or less grouped great compared to my rifle groups.  And I'm in the process of planning a bugout very soon where we can try to communicate our newfound ninja skills to our less fortunate comrades-in-arms.  Even beyond basic marksmanship, there is the whole other set of fighting skills that can be practiced dry and we plan on integrating them in with the rest of the tribe so we can all be on something resembling the same page.

Anyway, that is the story of Our Hero and his Rifle Class Cherry.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Grind His Boners to Make My Bread

So in conversation the other night, a fetish came up that I actually had to google.  And I figure "Hey, if you need to google this shit, it's going to be new to a lot of people-why not squeeze a blog post out of it?"  (You have now figured out why 99% of this blog is posted.)

Anyway, the fetish is called "Vore."  That is, V-O-R-E.  It is apparently represents those with the sexual fantasy involving giants eating people.

I'm not kidding.  Go on, google the term, you pussy.

Anyway, Vore specifically specifies a size difference; otherwise it's just plain old cannibalism fetishes.  And I'm not sure if it only involves giants; I wonder if getting eaten by a dragon qualifies?  Or what about a normal sized person eating people that have been shrunk down and kept in a fish tank?

In case you were wondering, the point of this exercise is to make you realize that somewhere, somehow, someone is masturbating furiously while thinking of Shrek devouring their face.  You're welcome, Internet.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

My Shit is Together, I Promise

So I managed to finish Codex Kalachnikova, America's #1 Pulp Novel about Conan with an AK, before my 30th birthday which took place earlier this month.  That was important to me for some reason, finishing before 30, but now on the other side of 30 I can barely see why.  Anyway, after that I promised to give myself a month off from writing, which is why the blog has been languishing in idle limbo.

But I can't take a month off, not really, not when there is so much shit I have to say.  So for now, suffice to say I'll be reaming out your eye holes with my literary blog cock soon enough.

The plan for Codex is threefold.  First, I wait up until December 2012 to see if the degenerate heathens at Raw Dog Screaming Press finally start accepting unsolicited submissions like it says they will do on their website.  If not, I start whoring it around to other companies that don't fit me as  perfectly but may consider publishing my work, though to be honest I have no idea which companies would consider something this far out.  Finally, if nobody wants the fucking thing, I'll self publish it on Amazon and try to at least make enough cash to pay for a couple of print copies for family members that want them.  While I am waiting, I will tidy up the manuscript and maybe add a few ancillary illustrations, try to work out the map of post TEOTWAWKI Efrafa.

Anyway, that is more or less all that is happening in my life to date, in case you thought the Federales had nabbed me.  You godless scum should be so lucky.

In case you are wondering what the Codex Soundtrack sounds like, I'm gonna just leave this right here.

Friday, September 7, 2012

What, You Think I Forgot What Day It Was?

Emergency State of the Drug Culture Address

Once again from my pulpit as God Emperor of Freaks, Faggots, Drunks and Junkies, I am forced to come to the podium to talk about an issue that is still, despite my rants on the subject, quite frankly killing us all.

First off: E Tu, Kumar?

Every fucking time.  I get this shit every fucking time.

The guy makes his fortune off of stoners.  They(we) get baked enough that his shitty movies are funny and give him their money.  And the guy lies to cover for the Big O, saying and I quote:

"But what the president has done is take a really smart look at the Department of Justice and said, given the fact that the federal government has limited resources, we should be allocating them toward violent criminals and not towards non-violent criminals."

Either you are lying or completely retarded, Penn.  The memo stoners like to tout about MM facility raids has already been tossed to the wayside like a used rubber-I mean why actually stick with the policy when you can tout the one memo through the whole election cycle-and Obama has ordered more medical Marijuana raids per year than W did.  Which is it?  Shill or moron?  I suppose they aren't mutually exclusive.

Oh, and the people that pay your bills by buying your shit are being murdered and imprisoned, BTW.  No big deal, right?  I mean as long as you can claim deferred status on the DREAM act, an endless cycle of incarceration and murder to fight the devil weed is no big deal.  I mean, its just weed, guys, it isn't the most important thing.  LOL stoners.  So stupid and predictable.

Oh, and you know what other promise your boy Obama has broken?  You know that horrible place where terrorists and funny looking American citizens are sexually abused by racist homophobic rednecks, as you so brilliantly portray here?

Yeah, still open by the way.  But nothing about this whole scenario screams hypocrite, eh?

Fuck you, Penn, and all your D list celebrity pals.  I hope they outlaw Botox next.

Stoners, Vote Gary Johnson or Get The Fuck Out of the Way.