Saturday, January 7, 2012

How To Fuck A Space Duck

Welcome to the other portion of my blog. Sometimes I talk about heavy shit, and sometimes I go on about cartoons. You'll get used to it.

So seriously, what the hell?

In case you are wondering, the Mighty Ducks cartoon is loosely based on the Disney film about the titular hockey team-or maybe that film is based on the actual Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, a legitimate hockey team, and the cartoon builds off the same franchise. In either case, someone decided to jazz it up a little by making the hockey players actual ducks from another dimension who arrive in their space ship, take up hockey, strap on some puck blasting lasers and start fighting crime. No, seriously. Basically, the premise is like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, only more like Youthful Alien Hockey Ducks. A plucky team of heroes blasting away at space lizards with various hockey themed weapons and vehicles apparently ran for 26 freaking episodes.

Don't you just want to go back in time and sit in on that pitch meeting? Like, not even step in to change the flow of history, stop the holocaust, warn America about the housing bubble, whatever...I just want to sit in on the meeting where some guy says "Man, we need to jazz up the franchise, merch revenues are low," and some coke addled jack off goes "Hey, Ninja Turtles is doing pretty well, why don't we have space ducks that fight crime?" And the worst part is, somehow they got everyone to agree to this idea and put it into production.

Just kind of takes your breath away, doesn't it?

(If you are wondering about the title of this entry, no, I have no idea how to fuck a space duck. Why would you even click that, you sick bastard?)

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