Now I'm not trying to brag like I'm some kind of max level Cultist of Ectasy slash Hunter S. Thompson hardcase, but this ol' scumfuck has been around the block a time or two. Let me tell you, if they tell you Mollie is something new and different, they are wrong. It's some kind of concentrated X/MDMA type of deal. There's an upper in there, but I couldn't quite identify it, and of course the ultra squishy feel good happy buzz of the X itself. I would regard it firmly in the hallucinogenic category but it doesn't get you contemplative really, just gives you a righteous body buzz and a burst of energy. The only real head change is the grinding down of social inhibitions.
Why is this relevant? Well, when I first decided I was going to Bonnaroo, I had decided I was going to try some Mollie. It seems to be the festival drug du jour, we never get it in Bloomington, and it was something I hadn't tried before. Had I known it was more or less analagous to E, I probably wouldn't have-but maybe I would have, don't know, I'd already taken my first dip when I found out. The principal difference between it and the E I was getting in 2007 or so is that it hits you fast-if you lick the powder ("taking a dip") you start feeling something within five or six minutes instead of fifteen to sixty. But I wouldn't regard the sensation as radically different and I've never found MDMA based drugs to be terribly pleasant, although it does grind out my awkwardness enough that I can try to dance.
Can't exactly say why I just had to try it, really-perhaps just as a reaction against my 30's, some desperate need to prove to myself that I am still hardcore despite my mortage, my kid, the whole white picket fence lifestyle I've built for myself-or had built for me-despite all of the nihilistic predictions of my teenage years. About the furthest out in space I got on the stuff was a long imaginary conversation with my Nephandi, who berated me about that very subject-and I can do that stone cold sober, god help me.
Really, the best time I had out there was on shrooms, and that's mostly because a) I'm comfortable with the trip and know myself well enough to dose effectively and b) because all my friends were tripping at the time and a collective trip is always better than a solo one. Miss Mollie is a hell of a drug-a HELL of a drug-just like MDMA is. But I don't see why people consider it so fucking revolutionary or so amazing, nor why it is the big festival drug, with every third motherfucker walking up and down the lines going MOLLIE? MOLLIE? MOLLIE? like he's looking for his lost sister.
I wonder how much of myself I would destroy, just to deny the fact that I'm getting old and boring? I think that's the only question I can really take away from this. I thought on it long and hard on my last night at 'Roo, which was Father's Day anyway and always a depressing one for me. Its easy to see how Mollie, or any drug that is all happy with no crash, can be insidious-alcohol at least has the advantage of being a toxin, telling you when you've gone too far, but all Mollie does is make you kind of thirsty and you can go up-up-up and on-on-on as long as you like. Fortunately I have no real urge to do Miss Mollie again-the only tangible benefit of it on my end was a temporary reprieve on my awkwardness, and I can get that from Jack Daniels.
Good night, scumfucketeers. I'll discuss some of the other 'Roo drugs, and the cultures surroudning them, in tomorrow's entry.
