Friday, August 17, 2012

Numerology for Kids

In transcribing Codex Kalachnikova (America's #1 Pulp Novel about Conan with an AK) from it's hard copy into a digital copy with all the typos and cliches and awkward phrases hopefully edited out, I have discovered a lot of mistakes.  In fact, my most common refrain when transcribing "WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS STUPID SHIT PLOT CRITICAL?!?!?"  But I ran across the most glaring one today.  Apparently in numbering the chapters, I completely skipped sixteen.

The weirdest part is that sixteen is Gracie's favorite number.  How do I know sixteen is her favorite number?  Because when counting to twenty, she likes to repeat sixteen three or four times.

When I was younger I assigned anthromorphic characteristics to numbers; for instance, nine was an eternall greedy number because of how adding 9+5 = 14 when obviously the number 15 was more desirable, as in 10+5.  10 = generous, 9 = greedy.  Don't be surprised if that doesn't make sense; I started doing it when I was about six.  I'm not OCD exactly, just highly math retarded, and I understand characters better than I understand numbers.  In order for me to really differentiate between 8 and 412, I had to assign a sort of pidgin NPC personality to each.

Anyway, in my juvenile numerology, 16 was a a real go-getter, ambitious enough to get past the placid 15 and reach for that 20, eternally striving for completion.  I wonder what that means, skipping that chapter.  Probably nothing.  But something weird in me has to make me wonder.

If you are waiting for a point there isn't one.  Except maybe don't trust 7.  7 is the most duplicitous of numbers, just waiting to shank 8 in the back.


  1. If you need an editor...send it my way.
    I always found that if you're writing something important, like a report or a term paper, let somebody else read and proofread it so as to avoid stupid mistakes or grammar errors.

    Of course, I also learned, in college, that if you're typing a paper and you take a break about...20 after 4...and it's due the next day...and you leave it up on the computer...better do one last proofread it in case the day you go to turn it in you discover someone inserted "balls are tasty" or something in the middle of page six thinking they were funny.

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