Friday, August 17, 2012
Numerology for Kids
In transcribing Codex Kalachnikova (America's #1 Pulp Novel about Conan with an AK) from it's hard copy into a digital copy with all the typos and cliches and awkward phrases hopefully edited out, I have discovered a lot of mistakes. In fact, my most common refrain when transcribing "WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS STUPID SHIT PLOT CRITICAL?!?!?" But I ran across the most glaring one today. Apparently in numbering the chapters, I completely skipped sixteen.
The weirdest part is that sixteen is Gracie's favorite number. How do I know sixteen is her favorite number? Because when counting to twenty, she likes to repeat sixteen three or four times.
When I was younger I assigned anthromorphic characteristics to numbers; for instance, nine was an eternall greedy number because of how adding 9+5 = 14 when obviously the number 15 was more desirable, as in 10+5. 10 = generous, 9 = greedy. Don't be surprised if that doesn't make sense; I started doing it when I was about six. I'm not OCD exactly, just highly math retarded, and I understand characters better than I understand numbers. In order for me to really differentiate between 8 and 412, I had to assign a sort of pidgin NPC personality to each.
Anyway, in my juvenile numerology, 16 was a a real go-getter, ambitious enough to get past the placid 15 and reach for that 20, eternally striving for completion. I wonder what that means, skipping that chapter. Probably nothing. But something weird in me has to make me wonder.
If you are waiting for a point there isn't one. Except maybe don't trust 7. 7 is the most duplicitous of numbers, just waiting to shank 8 in the back.