Thursday, February 3, 2011

a/k/a Chris By-The-Throat

So I watched a/k/a Tommy Chong today, a documentary about Chong's 2004 Drug Paraphernalia case in which some up and coming neocon star federal attorney decided to grill him for selling "water pipes" from his online store. According to the documentary, they spent $12 million bucks and used 2000 active duty law enforcement officers to do this (Well, they prosecuted a little over 50 other cases) in an attempt to crack down on those who sell drug paraphernalia-they consider it a secondary profit on the drug war.

In any case, because I'm a good helpful citizen, and I am happy to help the Feds bankrupt themselves, I have a list of other companies that you pig jackoffs might want to prosecute, as they are obviously drug paraphernalia sellers as well.

American Produce Distributors
- Friendly fruit company, or drug enablers? This video may help explain.

What about Zig Zag? Or Randy's? Both are the rolling papers of choice for many stoners. Hey, what about Pepsi co? You can make a damn fine gravity bong out of an empty two liter. Shit, I could go all day. What about reynolds wrap? With enough tinfoil you can turn damn near anything into a bong-you can make a removable slide bowl and stick it in a fucking rubber duck.

Hell, what about the motherfuckers who sell cheap tire gauges and brillo pads aka EVERY GAS STATION EVER? I'm pretty sure every crime committed by crackheads can be blamed on those who make ersatz crack pipes available to a public who cannot be trusted with the awesome responsibility of a glass water pipe.

Or here is an idea-how about you miserable jackbooted fucks shut your bleeding cunt mouths and leave decent people alone? Man, wouldn't that be great? You'd have 12 million dollars more to waterboard brown people with and I can sit on my porch smoking a 'water pipe' and we can both pretend that the other person doesn't exist.

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