Nothing like 0945 on a Thursday morning...

...to take up the family business, which is hardcore alcoholism.

Sorry blogosphere.  I know you aren't interested in my problems, but I'm in the process of getting kicked to the curb, going from nearly a homeowner to effectively homeless over the course of the past 72 hours.

Life moves on in Babylon, as it surely must.  But it has to move on without me today-I'm fucking drunk.

In other news...

I have a case of the creeping awfuls so you get link snark today.

Apparently some voodoo witch doctor says Libertarianism is a fairy tale.

Oh, wait, a psychologist?

Same fucking difference.

Nice to see unbiased, fact based science.

How many people died of acute "Not-agreeing-with-the-State-ophrenia" due to your profession, you balding, sloppy joweled hack?  You live in academia, the biggest fairy tale of all, and you tell me my political ethos doesn't apply to the real world?  You wouldn't know the real world if it raped you, labeled you as undesirable, and stuck you in a gulag to freeze.

Suck my fairy tale dick.

FALIMT - Good Golly Miss Mollie

Now I'm not trying to brag like I'm some kind of max level Cultist of Ectasy slash Hunter S. Thompson hardcase, but this ol' scumfuck has been around the block a time or two.  Let me tell you, if they tell you Mollie is something new and different, they are wrong.  It's some kind of concentrated X/MDMA type of deal.  There's an upper in there, but I couldn't quite identify it, and of course the ultra squishy feel good happy buzz of the X itself.  I would regard it firmly in the hallucinogenic category but it doesn't get you contemplative really, just gives you a righteous body buzz and a burst of energy.  The only real head change is the grinding down of social inhibitions.

Why is this relevant?  Well, when I first decided I was going to Bonnaroo, I had decided I was going to try some Mollie.  It seems to be the festival drug du jour, we never get it in Bloomington, and it was something I hadn't tried before.  Had I known it was more or less analagous to E, I probably wouldn't have-but maybe I would have, don't know, I'd already taken my first dip when I found out.  The principal difference between it and the E I was getting in 2007 or so is that it hits you fast-if you lick the powder ("taking a dip") you start feeling something within five or six minutes instead of fifteen to sixty.  But I wouldn't regard the sensation as radically different and I've never found MDMA based drugs to be terribly pleasant, although it does grind out my awkwardness enough that I can try to dance.

Can't exactly say why I just had to try it, really-perhaps just as a reaction against my 30's, some desperate need to prove to myself that I am still hardcore despite my mortage, my kid, the whole white picket fence lifestyle I've built for myself-or had built for me-despite all of the nihilistic predictions of my teenage years.  About the furthest out in space I got on the stuff was a long imaginary conversation with my Nephandi, who berated me about that very subject-and I can do that stone cold sober, god help me.

Really, the best time I had out there was on shrooms, and that's mostly because a) I'm comfortable with the trip and know myself well enough to dose effectively and b) because all my friends were tripping at the time and a collective trip is always better than a solo one.  Miss Mollie is a hell of a drug-a HELL of a drug-just like MDMA is.  But I don't see why people consider it so fucking revolutionary or so amazing, nor why it is the big festival drug, with every third motherfucker walking up and down the lines going MOLLIE? MOLLIE? MOLLIE? like he's looking for his lost sister.

I wonder how much of myself I would destroy, just to deny the fact that I'm getting old and boring?  I think that's the only question I can really take away from this.  I thought on it long and hard on my last night at 'Roo, which was Father's Day anyway and always a depressing one for me.  Its easy to see how Mollie, or any drug that is all happy with no crash, can be insidious-alcohol at least has the advantage of being a toxin, telling you when you've gone too far, but all Mollie does is make you kind of thirsty and you can go up-up-up and on-on-on as long as you like. Fortunately I have no real urge to do Miss Mollie again-the only tangible benefit of it on my end was a temporary reprieve on my awkwardness, and I can get that from Jack Daniels.

Good night, scumfucketeers.  I'll discuss some of the other 'Roo drugs, and the cultures surroudning them, in tomorrow's entry.

FALIMT - Shouldn't We Talk About The Music?

So I figure I'll get my discussion about the music out of the way so I can talk about the culture and the drugs.  (Not that I'm not a music whore, but the sociological and chemical implications are more interesting to discuss.)

Oddly, the band we were all talking about after 'roo was Weird Al.  I've always casually liked Weird Al, both as a kid and as an adult.  But I might actually be a Weird Al fan after his show.  Unlike most shows at the 'roo, his started on time to the minute-at midnight the lights went out and the video intro started, the mark of a true professional.  All of it was tightly choreagraphed and hilarious.  The videos he played during the costume changes were all funny and well chosen, usually leading right into the song he was about to play.  And his skills are actually pretty impressive, particularly his rapping-when he came out with White and Nerdy, he actually rapped on a motherfucking segway while zooming around the stage.  I guess when you've been in the business for 40 years as the very metric of fame (according to no less than Kurt Cobain) you truly gain a feel for showmanship.  Surely part of my good experience with Weird Al's show was because it was the nerdiest tent at the 'Roo-all the cool kids were off at R. Kelly or Wu Tang or whatever the fuck it is cool kids like and that meant the preshow conversation was better than most.  But really, all I can say is hats off to that guy-he is a hell of a performer.  I would have liked him to do "Dare to be Stupid" which is my favorite Weird Al Song, but I just watched my DVD of the Transformers animated movie when I got home and was content.

The first show I caught was Walk the Moon, and honestly I only tagged along because all my friends were going and I didn't want to be by myself, but I was completely surprised by how much I liked them.  They are a bit pop-rocky, in the vein of Eve 6 with a heavy techno influence, but they put on a hell of a show.  I will definitely be checking out more of their stuff.

Boys Noize was a band I had gone to see.  I first heard about them several years ago; they do a remix of Space Lord that I always really dug.  My molly was kicking in really hard by the time they went hot and I was sizzling by the end of the first song.  The lightshow was sublime, they had a real feel for the crowd, and I danced myself retarded until five in the fucking morning.

I also caught the Revivalists on the Sonic Stage.  Honestly I was just there to camp the front row for Delta Rae, but they had me on my feet within about 3 songs.  They played a long set-the lady that runs the sonic stage really likes them I think-but I didn't mind a bit.  Their sound is folksy but extremely aggressive, and their energy level is just insane-it was like being lifted up on a tornado and dropped into an acoustic munchkinland.  I will definitely be checking out more of their stuff instead.

Delta Rae, who you may only recognize from the most recent Trueblood trailer like a fucking posuer, is just a quivering ball of sexy talent.  Seriously.  All four members of the band are supremely talented vocalists-they are notable as the only band that can cover a Fleetwood Mac song and not make it suck.  They all also play insturments, and there is something impossibly sexy about a girl pounding away on the bass drum while hitting a pitch perfect vibrato.  It's the only show I caught twice and would have watched again if they played again.  I was surprised by how high energy they were-because of their talent level I expected something fairly sedate about their show, like watching a piano virtuoso in action.  But they were moving all over the place without missing a note.  If there is any justice in the universe, in a few years they will be headlining Bonnaroo.

ZZ Top was another band I caught and was honestly disappointed.  They played all their songs just like the studio album, did very little moving around onstage, came on almost forty minutes late, and showed almost no reaction to the crowd.  It wasn't bad, although I'm not the biggest ZZ Top fan in general and I love awesome beards...it was just sterile and charitably meh.

I also caught the Sheepdogs on the last day.  They are a groovy folkadelic combo, normally more jam band than I really like but I was digging their shit by the end of the show.  Their lyrics are pretty interesting and they are a high energy combo as well, always moving around-and their guitarist just burns the house down when they cut him loose.

Dwight Yokum was a good experience overall, even if I'm not normally the biggest fan.  I was surprised by how big his crowd was considering that the average 'Roo goer is kind of a hippie, but he got a pretty goddamn good rebel yell out of them ol' boys in his tent.  He was pitch perfect as well, and a little static-all of his stuff sounded straight off the album, he didn't go off on tangents too much and that made it a little dull for me, but I could listen to Guitars & Cadillacs all day so in the end things were OK.

I caught the Nationals while I was camping out for Tom Petty.  Perfectly palatable band, sophisticated musically and with a great feel for the crowd, but they will always be cursed in my mind as the only thing between me and Tom Petty.  They don't deserve it, but there it is.

Of the headliners, I only caught Tom Petty.  Everyone acted like I was a blasphemer because I didn't go listen to "Sir" Paul Mccartney, but honestly I'm not that big of a Beatles fan and he is by far not my favorite Beatle.  Tom Petty on the other hand...well, you don't grow up in Indiana and not love Tom Petty.  In fact, I have a strong instinctive dislike of people who don't like Tom Petty.  Tom was amazing, as was to be expected-it rained for part of the show, my acid wasn't kicking in because it was fucking strips of paper some dirty cheating cocksucker sold me, I was dead exhausted because it was the last show, and I didn't give a shit.  I fought for a good spot early on, long enough to catch a few of my favorites, and then I went to the back and just laid down and listened to him.  It was nice and low pressure that way-and periodically between songs I got to hear him tell me how awesome I was.  Overall a phenomenal experience.  I would have liked to hear something from the Last DJ, something higher energy and angrier so I would have had more oomph for the walk home, but on the whole, I can't complain a lick about that show.

Anyway, that is about all I have to say about the music.  Tomorrow's lecture will be about Miss Molly.  You don't want to miss it, I assure you.

Fear and Loathing in Middle Tennessee

So I took the usual route for a writer suffering from literary constipation and took myself down to Bonnaroo this weekend and listened to some music while engaging in pointless drug consumption.  It was my first 'roo I thought I'd scrawl out a few of my impressions on the music, the drugs, the culture and the experience so I'd have something to write about.

The experience was a fascinating one.  My overall impression was of a purpose built playground for adults who really should damn well know better.  It was the right thing for me, though the timing was terrible-we just bought a house and I'm in the middle of moving and my lovely wife is in the process of 9000 unrelated projects including putting on a gaming convention.  I left straight from work at 0700 on thursday morning.  We ended up in camp Peter Griffin on the very far end of Pod 11, giving us about a 45 minute walk to Centeroo.

On the surface, everyone was friendly-your neighbors in camp say hello, share their weed and beer and food freely.  But there are some worms in that big mushy apple too-we got burned on acid not once but twice.  Buying drugs at 'roo is absurdly open-air and easy, but obviously synthetic drugs can't be verified outside of a lab and it is clearly caveat emptor.  Basically, anyone who has anything to sell walks up and down the lines of people calling it out, so if you are wondering why everyone is looking for someone named Molly, that's why.  (Miss Molly will have her own entry later on in this series-she is a fascinating lady.)  I feel bad for anyone actually looking for a girl named Molly, as they will never find her.

We took a good group-3 cars worth of degenerates from Bloomington and elsewhere.  Some of us were experienced Bonnaroovians but most of us were virgins.  Basically there are two types of 'roo-goers-those who are there for the music and those who are there for the crowd.  I was more in the latter type although obviously I am a colossal music whore as well; I loved immersing myself in the great screaming mass of humanity and getting fucked up and wondering what it all means.  Essentially the whole damn thing was a noisy backdrop to me figuring out a bunch of things that needed to be figured out.  I wasn't the only one either; I met people there that only went to one or two shows.

The next entry should go live tomorrow where I'll discuss my impressions of the music.  Stay tuned, Scumfucketeers.