Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Planning the Bugout: Storms are Coming

The bugout is getting closer, we are at D-2 and closing. As the mad scramble to get everything ready continues, I just want to talk about some of the differences between the bugout and our previous bugouts.

Life is moving fast here in Babylon. Everyone is experiencing a slew of paradigm altering personal changes and personal/professional lives are in upheaval. One guy just broke up with his girl, one guy's girl just got out of jail, one of our guys is looking at some jail time in the future, two of our members just had a baby, and as for me, well, I lost my lucky hat. Sickness is rampant in the group and several are in the process of changing jobs.

Besides all that, we are looking at some serious weather for the weekend of the bugout; rain and mud and freezing temperatures at night. But the thing about a bugout is, you can't call the fucking thing off for weather, zombies don't give a fuck about weather, so we are going to tough it out. And the other thing about a bugout is, you can't call it off for personal drama either-the only thing zombies care less about than weather is personal drama. So we are going to tough that out too. But I think it is going to make for an interesting bugout; everyone is off center, off their game, and yet here we are anyway, loading magazines and sharpening axes.

Most pussies would back off because of these mitigating factors, but this is not our first bugout; we have done this before. We aren't a bunch of mewling college students stuffing canned goods in backpacks and loading Mosin Nagant stripper clips anymore. I think we have made a lot of progress over the last 3 years and damnit, we are going to show it this time. And you know, if we ever have to bug out for real, like for really real, we are going to be afraid, psychologically off center, emotionally drained, lacking sleep, going on adrenaline fumes & adderall, so really we are going to be closer to combat conditions this time than we ever have been before.

You heard that right, maggots. I am going to take your state of spiritual and psychological exhaustion and use it against you.

Physicall, we are going to have an intense bugout. In addition to the actual work of a bugout (shelter building, wood gathering, food procurement and preparation) we usually do a lot of FTX type stuff like patrolling, contact drills, hand to hand combat practice and usually a rousing game of Spotlight. This time we are adding some more advanced weapon techniques, pugil stick sparring and a physically intensive medical section.

It will also be an intense bugout mentally. We are going to be practicing our communications and land navigation skills all the time, as in "always on, always in character." Routine land navigation and communications drills will be a part of every other activity; essentially a light infantry unit cannot fight if it cannot move or communicate, so we are going to put some real effort into it this time.

I think one of the biggest changes to the bugout is going to be size; we are expecting 6-8 people instead of the usual 10-12. I both love and hate this. It makes it easier to plan everything; food and time requirements are way down across the board. But my labor pool is smaller and the picture is going to be way less badass. It is a game changer, but it is neither positive nor negative. I don't like that attendance is down but I recognize why that is; people have a lot of things going on in their lives and you can't drop everything just to train for the zombie apocalypse. However, the trouble with this is that we are going to have to stop to review everything at the next bugout, before everybody that didn't make it can integrate into the existing unit. We have dealt with this before, so it isn't a catastrophic change. But next time I'd like to muster the full 15 motherfuckers and take a really badass picture.

Well, thanks for listening, Internet. It is unlikely I'll be posting anything in the next few days so don't miss me too much. I'll be back on Monday or Tuesday and will try to give yalls an after action report. In the meantime, to simulate the Scumfuck in Babylon experience, take a bunch of pills and choke yourself. Trust me, it feels about the same.

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