So I got my Beez Combat Systems AK chest rig in the mail not too long ago.
Besides strutting around my living room posturing like a jackass, I haven't done much with it yet. It is the first piece of MOLLE enabled kit that I have ever owned and really the only modular item as I never tried ALICE. It is replacing my Russian milsurp M-21 LBV, which is, charitably, hot, cumbersome, hard to store and too damn floppy. I didn't realize what a pain in the ass it was until I started wearing the BCS rig.
Anyway, this has me researching MOLLE attachments so I can set up a sort of minimalist ZOMG rig. The main reason I got the M-21 was because I was so sure I was going to get a good plate carrier vest set up later so the cheap rig was OK. Actually wearing it around with a pack, having it get folded up, struggling with the zipper, trying to fiddlefuck a storage method I can use in the field during our mock bugouts...it became a hassle. I had a fucking wooden hanger in my BOB just so I could take the damn vest off once in awhile and hang it off a tree. So I decided it was time for an upgrade.
This time I wanted something that was modular but that I could wear over an armor vest if needed as well as without one, so I'll have a good piece of kit even if the shit goes down before I can afford some body armor. It is very comfortable, rides right around stomach level, and holds 5 AK mags securely with elastic retention doohickeys. There is a hook-and-loop closure to a full sized admin pocket that I plan on using for maps and survival gear. The rig is low profile overall; I can cover it under a hoodie if I don't mind looking like a fat bastard. It is, quite simply, the nicest piece of kit I own.
Anyway, the problem here is that as I research MOLLE attachments to it, I'm getting that feeling like the first time a meth head sucks down on a chicken bone and lifts his head and screams WHOOOOOOOOOOOO-YEAH!!!!! I feel like I'm stepping off the deep end somehow.
I've got a bunch of rows of MOLLE stitching on the front. I want a mini Blow Out Kit, preferably in a tear away format, I want a radio pocket that will hold my FRS type blister pack radio, and I'd like a way to set up my fixed blade knife for horizontal weak side draw. Beyond that, I've got all this extra space and a deep compulsion to fill it despite the fact that it will make the rig heavier and more cumbersome.
But all that stitching! All that lovely stitching! Virgin space yearning for the touch of my gear! What am I gonna do with all this space? Christ knows I don't need much else on my ZOMG rig. Yet here I am, browsing cross draw pistol holsters and IPOD pouches and dump pouches and tactical Fastex Buckled Double Dildo sheaths with triple retention and Christ almighty knows what else and I get the feeling that addiction is a real possibility here.
Is there a support group for this?
Friday, February 24, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Carnal Linguistic Love Affair
My relationship with the English language is fundamentally Nabokovian.
No, nothing that involves Pedobear-the language predates me by some time. If anything, this is a Mrs. Robinson affair.
Nabokov was well known to simply love the English language and the flowery expressions that were possible within it's boundaries. The bastard could go on and on for days describing a rusty light pole or a flock of butterflies touching down on a wilted peony in a cracked flowerpot. Everyone (read: no one) has read Lolita, which is an OK example, but give Pale Fire a try and you'll really see it. Thusly:
All my stories are webs of style and none seems at first blush to contain much kinetic matter. For me style is matter.
-Vladimir Nabokov
You'll notice in this blog that I tend to ramble on the same way a lot; once I get into a sexy word groove it becomes difficult for me to pull out. Like ol' Vlad, I hate psychology and I love flowery phrases. Perhaps unlike Nabokov, I don't stick to courtly love; I fucking love the spoken word and that love includes choking and double penetration. To wit:
The relationship is an all consuming worship and adoration with a predatory aftertaste. I can't help it, nor would I if I could-I love the language and I love to hold the language down and fuck it in the ass while it pounds on the window crying for a policeman. Okay, maybe a little pedobear, goddamn it.
Yet here we are, aren't we? Somehow you keep reading my shit. And I thank you for that-but know this; there will be literary abortions up in this piece, drivel that follows no accepted format or style and may only make sense to one person. If you fit in the Grammar Nazi camp, you will be driven to apoplexy-but you were warned. Beyond that I say only this, in the words of the acknowledged master of the art of flowery nonsense.
There is only one school of literature - that of talent.
-Vladimir Nabokov
No, nothing that involves Pedobear-the language predates me by some time. If anything, this is a Mrs. Robinson affair.
Nabokov was well known to simply love the English language and the flowery expressions that were possible within it's boundaries. The bastard could go on and on for days describing a rusty light pole or a flock of butterflies touching down on a wilted peony in a cracked flowerpot. Everyone (read: no one) has read Lolita, which is an OK example, but give Pale Fire a try and you'll really see it. Thusly:
All my stories are webs of style and none seems at first blush to contain much kinetic matter. For me style is matter.
-Vladimir Nabokov
You'll notice in this blog that I tend to ramble on the same way a lot; once I get into a sexy word groove it becomes difficult for me to pull out. Like ol' Vlad, I hate psychology and I love flowery phrases. Perhaps unlike Nabokov, I don't stick to courtly love; I fucking love the spoken word and that love includes choking and double penetration. To wit:
- I don't always use proper spelling and grammar, sometimes because I am lazy or stoned and miss a mistake, and sometimes because I don't give a fuck because the language is mine and I'll use and abuse it as I see fit.
- I make it a point to use every derogatory slur towards every race, gender, ethnicity, religion and identity. All of 'em. The words are there, I didn't make 'em up, and I will by God use them-because the language is mine, and I'll use it and abuse it as I see fit.
- I use the slang of every deviant subculture, even those that are not my own, sometimes to illustrate my point and sometimes just because I think it's funny-because the language is mine, and I'll use it and abuse it as I see fit.
- And sometimes I just go on and on and lose my point. If you've ever wondered if me going "Wait, what was I talking about again?" is a cheeky self deprecating affectation, you are sorely mistaken-that is simply the machine gun cadence of my thoughts and sometimes I have a dead primer in there somewhere. Tap, rack, bang, motherfuckers-the language is mine and I'll use it and abuse it as I see fit.
The relationship is an all consuming worship and adoration with a predatory aftertaste. I can't help it, nor would I if I could-I love the language and I love to hold the language down and fuck it in the ass while it pounds on the window crying for a policeman. Okay, maybe a little pedobear, goddamn it.
Yet here we are, aren't we? Somehow you keep reading my shit. And I thank you for that-but know this; there will be literary abortions up in this piece, drivel that follows no accepted format or style and may only make sense to one person. If you fit in the Grammar Nazi camp, you will be driven to apoplexy-but you were warned. Beyond that I say only this, in the words of the acknowledged master of the art of flowery nonsense.
There is only one school of literature - that of talent.
-Vladimir Nabokov
Friday, February 17, 2012
CBTT Settles the Great Debates: Martial Arts vs. Combat Sports
Today in CBTT settles the great debates: Martial Arts vs. Combat Sports. Don't worry, I'm not going to go all Phil Elmore on you. I don't have a stake; I enjoy both methodologies.
In case you aren't familiar with this debate, this question is generally the AR/AK or .45/9mm of the martial arts communities. Some people choose to view this question as "What art is best for surviving a street encounter?" and some choose to view it as "MMA is superior and fuck all you faggots." (Note that this is not a question.) It seems to boil down to "Should an martial sport with full contact be considered superior for street fighting than a martial art with no or extremely limited contact?" That will be the version we discuss here.
(Full disclosure-I have trained heavily in both methodologies, with a later emphasis on Filipino stick arts. Also, I have a bit of gutter experience that predates most of my training.)
Let me start by answering that, the reasonable version of the question. YES. An airy-fairy dancing art that teaches you to block every hit in a pre programmed dance will get you killed on the street. Why? Because typically you don't see the attack coming and YOU WILL GET HIT. Sometimes you'll get hit hard, you'll get knocked down, you'll get blindsided by three motherfuckers in a dark alley, and you won't know what to do because you've never been hit before. I've seen some very good traditional martial arts practicioners just fall apart after they get hit the first time in an MMA environment-I mean everything, technique, zen, even blind instinct just comes apart because getting hit wasn't part of the plan.
That said, the main difference between a UFC bout and a street fight isn't that you are barred from kicking nuts or gouging eyes. The main difference is that in the UFC, you pick the time, venue and opponent for the fight, and in a street fight, you don't have that luxury. The street fight tends to come up as a surprise and even if you win, your day is pretty much fucked. You can look forward to a hard fight in the UFC, a test of skill, strength and will; on the street you want the easy fight, and more importantly your opponent does too. If you can, he'll use size advantage, numerical superiority, terrain and a wide variety of weapons to make it an easy fight so he can go home and smoke crack in peace. That is the fundamental disconnect between MMA and street fighting and, despite the chest thumping superiority of some MMA types, it can ruin your plan as much as not getting hit.
Fundamentally, you will fight how you train. If you train to never get hit, to dodge and weave and block Jackie Chan style through every encounter, that is how you will fight-and you will likely lose. If you train to take a guy to the ground and punch him until someone pulls you away, you'll fight like that-and win, until the guy pulling you off has a very small, very sharp knife that he ventilates you with over and over because you weren't even looking for him. Or maybe you just keep punching him because you aren't trained to disengage, and you drub the guy to death after he passes out and you end up locked up with a bunch of his homies instead. That is not winning.
So, what can we take away from this little foray into survivalist relevance from a guy who usually writes about Disney Sex?
1. Your style is not an ego thing. There are things to take away from any art-and things to leave hanging there as well.
2. You will get hit in a street fight. Make sure you've been hit before, or you'll be amazed at how little you know after it happens, assuming they ever finish unscrewing you from that mailbox.
3. What works in the ring doesn't always work in the street and no amount of chest thumping can make it so that it does.
4. None of these styles teach you enough about situational awareness. Situational awareness > technique.
5. Any style that does not teach you about the legal ramifications of using force against another person is an incomplete style. Period.
Thank you, and please don't flood my blog with pissed off comments because you think I called your dick small. Good night, folks.
In case you aren't familiar with this debate, this question is generally the AR/AK or .45/9mm of the martial arts communities. Some people choose to view this question as "What art is best for surviving a street encounter?" and some choose to view it as "MMA is superior and fuck all you faggots." (Note that this is not a question.) It seems to boil down to "Should an martial sport with full contact be considered superior for street fighting than a martial art with no or extremely limited contact?" That will be the version we discuss here.
(Full disclosure-I have trained heavily in both methodologies, with a later emphasis on Filipino stick arts. Also, I have a bit of gutter experience that predates most of my training.)
Let me start by answering that, the reasonable version of the question. YES. An airy-fairy dancing art that teaches you to block every hit in a pre programmed dance will get you killed on the street. Why? Because typically you don't see the attack coming and YOU WILL GET HIT. Sometimes you'll get hit hard, you'll get knocked down, you'll get blindsided by three motherfuckers in a dark alley, and you won't know what to do because you've never been hit before. I've seen some very good traditional martial arts practicioners just fall apart after they get hit the first time in an MMA environment-I mean everything, technique, zen, even blind instinct just comes apart because getting hit wasn't part of the plan.
That said, the main difference between a UFC bout and a street fight isn't that you are barred from kicking nuts or gouging eyes. The main difference is that in the UFC, you pick the time, venue and opponent for the fight, and in a street fight, you don't have that luxury. The street fight tends to come up as a surprise and even if you win, your day is pretty much fucked. You can look forward to a hard fight in the UFC, a test of skill, strength and will; on the street you want the easy fight, and more importantly your opponent does too. If you can, he'll use size advantage, numerical superiority, terrain and a wide variety of weapons to make it an easy fight so he can go home and smoke crack in peace. That is the fundamental disconnect between MMA and street fighting and, despite the chest thumping superiority of some MMA types, it can ruin your plan as much as not getting hit.
Fundamentally, you will fight how you train. If you train to never get hit, to dodge and weave and block Jackie Chan style through every encounter, that is how you will fight-and you will likely lose. If you train to take a guy to the ground and punch him until someone pulls you away, you'll fight like that-and win, until the guy pulling you off has a very small, very sharp knife that he ventilates you with over and over because you weren't even looking for him. Or maybe you just keep punching him because you aren't trained to disengage, and you drub the guy to death after he passes out and you end up locked up with a bunch of his homies instead. That is not winning.
So, what can we take away from this little foray into survivalist relevance from a guy who usually writes about Disney Sex?
1. Your style is not an ego thing. There are things to take away from any art-and things to leave hanging there as well.
2. You will get hit in a street fight. Make sure you've been hit before, or you'll be amazed at how little you know after it happens, assuming they ever finish unscrewing you from that mailbox.
3. What works in the ring doesn't always work in the street and no amount of chest thumping can make it so that it does.
4. None of these styles teach you enough about situational awareness. Situational awareness > technique.
5. Any style that does not teach you about the legal ramifications of using force against another person is an incomplete style. Period.
Thank you, and please don't flood my blog with pissed off comments because you think I called your dick small. Good night, folks.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
In Lieu of Any Content Today...
...I present Joe Buck Yourself.
Now fuck off, I haven't even packed a bowl yet.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Coffee Day
Let me clarify by saying I really don't drink coffee. I don't really like regular working stiff coffee slung over a sticky counter by tired eyed waitresses and I don't really like fancy eye-talian coffee slung over a glass pie case by chirpy young college graduates. I'm just not a coffee guy; when I need to stay awake I chug Mountain Dew and maybe snort an adderall. But today, on Valentines Day, I'm going to take Amanda and Gracie out on a classy date for some coffee at Starbucks, and you should too.
Why? Because fuck CSGV, god damnit. Fuck CSGV, NGVAC, MAIG, etc. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em right in their lying face holes.
I find it sad that we, American gun owners, have to applaud a company for doing nothing more than adhering to the law as written instead of holding out for actual support, and I find it sad that the tattered pack of loudly roaring mice which comprises our opposition has any bearing at all on the policy of private companies. But you know what they say-money talks, bullshit walks, and if even half the gun owners who promised their support to starbucks on V-day come out to buy a cup of coffee, we can get their attention with something that really makes a difference in policy-record motherfucking profits.
In conclusion, Buy Starbucks, God Bless America and Fuck Dennis Hennigan. I think that covers everything I want to say today.
Why? Because fuck CSGV, god damnit. Fuck CSGV, NGVAC, MAIG, etc. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em right in their lying face holes.
I find it sad that we, American gun owners, have to applaud a company for doing nothing more than adhering to the law as written instead of holding out for actual support, and I find it sad that the tattered pack of loudly roaring mice which comprises our opposition has any bearing at all on the policy of private companies. But you know what they say-money talks, bullshit walks, and if even half the gun owners who promised their support to starbucks on V-day come out to buy a cup of coffee, we can get their attention with something that really makes a difference in policy-record motherfucking profits.
In conclusion, Buy Starbucks, God Bless America and Fuck Dennis Hennigan. I think that covers everything I want to say today.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Those Crazy Conspiracy Theories
This story got me thinking.
Everyone on the 'progressive' side of the negotiation table at this stage likes to spew venom about that god awful biased Fox news spreading their filthy right wing biased lies.
Which they do, don't get me wrong.
But they don't like it when you bring up shit like this; they don't like to be reminded that the political class of both parties have multi million dollar professional mouthpieces. They like to bitch that those evil filthy 1%er billionaires the Koch Brothers are promoting an agenda that will institute Standard White Jesus as the state religion and install heartbeat monitors on every woman's uterus to shock her if she tries to take a morning after pill, but anyone who sees evil filthy 1%er billionaire George Soros promoting an agenda to confiscate semi automatic magazine fed rifles is buying into "conspiracy theories."
I just want to put this out there. From Dictionary.Reference.Com
con·spir·a·cy
/kənˈspɪrəsi/ Show Spelled[kuhn-spir-uh-see] Show IPA
noun, plural -cies.
1. the act of conspiring.
2.an evil, unlawful, treacherous, or surreptitious plan formulated in secret by two or more persons; plot.
3.a combination of persons for a secret, unlawful, or evil purpose: He joined the conspiracy to overthrow the government.
4.Law. an agreement by two or more persons to commit a crime, fraud, or other wrongful act.
5.any concurrence in action; combination in bringing about a given result.
That shoe fits pretty good, don't it, Georgie Boy? Why don't we take a look at my revised Media Matters Gun Facts Fellowship Boilerplate? That sounds like fun.
This post is written as part of the Media Matters Gun Folly fellowship. The purpose of the fellowship is to further Media Matters’ agenda to aggressively decry, smear, and distort inconvenient gun truths in the U.S. media. Some of the worst misinformation occurs around the issue of guns, constitutional law, and (white) extremism, the fellowship program is designed to fight this information with bald faced lies.
And to my progressive friends-is it only media bias if the other side does it?
Everyone on the 'progressive' side of the negotiation table at this stage likes to spew venom about that god awful biased Fox news spreading their filthy right wing biased lies.
Which they do, don't get me wrong.
But they don't like it when you bring up shit like this; they don't like to be reminded that the political class of both parties have multi million dollar professional mouthpieces. They like to bitch that those evil filthy 1%er billionaires the Koch Brothers are promoting an agenda that will institute Standard White Jesus as the state religion and install heartbeat monitors on every woman's uterus to shock her if she tries to take a morning after pill, but anyone who sees evil filthy 1%er billionaire George Soros promoting an agenda to confiscate semi automatic magazine fed rifles is buying into "conspiracy theories."
I just want to put this out there. From Dictionary.Reference.Com
con·spir·a·cy
/kənˈspɪrəsi/ Show Spelled[kuhn-spir-uh-see] Show IPA
noun, plural -cies.
1. the act of conspiring.
2.an evil, unlawful, treacherous, or surreptitious plan formulated in secret by two or more persons; plot.
3.a combination of persons for a secret, unlawful, or evil purpose: He joined the conspiracy to overthrow the government.
4.Law. an agreement by two or more persons to commit a crime, fraud, or other wrongful act.
5.any concurrence in action; combination in bringing about a given result.
That shoe fits pretty good, don't it, Georgie Boy? Why don't we take a look at my revised Media Matters Gun Facts Fellowship Boilerplate? That sounds like fun.
This post is written as part of the Media Matters Gun Folly fellowship. The purpose of the fellowship is to further Media Matters’ agenda to aggressively decry, smear, and distort inconvenient gun truths in the U.S. media. Some of the worst misinformation occurs around the issue of guns, constitutional law, and (white) extremism, the fellowship program is designed to fight this information with bald faced lies.
And to my progressive friends-is it only media bias if the other side does it?
Friday, February 10, 2012
Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies
So I finally put a bullet in the dome of my Pentex campaign.
It was a hell of a ride for all that I barely planned it past a couple of the initial scenes.
The theme of my Pentex game was "Take everything you want, and pay for it." All I did was hand the players a pile of juicy powers, ridiculous magic items, limitless resources and endless parades of cheap drugs and sex. It was, perhaps, a quintessentially American campaign.
Once you beef up a bunch of characters to an absurd high level, it becomes hard to challenge them. Frankly I ran out of challenging enemies about six months ago; I was mostly just siccing the players on each other and dropping deus ex machinas on them when we managed to stay sober enough to game at all. No point in putting a lot of thought into a dangerous foe that is going to be eviscerated by 500 claw attacks in the first combat turn. With a lot of high level characters in the party, coming up with combat challenges was just not working out-and I can't get this group to do any of that high level intrigue stuff, they don't have the patience or experience.
It was a grand, glorious orgy of carnage that I am quite happy not to repeat. Let me tell you, fomori are not characters that can really drive a campaign for very long-once the shock of acid blood and brain eating wear off, the whole business becomes a rather numb affair of whirling claws, improbable drug cocktails and ichor stained sodomy.
Anyway, the next WoD campaign is probably going to be a hard sci-fi Hunter: The Reckoning. I think that might just be the thing to revitalize our fictional lives. I'm also probably going to fire up Pathfinder; I've been enjoying the Pathfinder rulebook a lot and some of my players have never done the classic "Dungeon Crawl." With some of their main gaming exposure being World of Darkness, I'm going to enjoy the chance to show them some of the D&D tropes instead.
Heh. Poor suckers won't even see it coming.
It was a hell of a ride for all that I barely planned it past a couple of the initial scenes.
The theme of my Pentex game was "Take everything you want, and pay for it." All I did was hand the players a pile of juicy powers, ridiculous magic items, limitless resources and endless parades of cheap drugs and sex. It was, perhaps, a quintessentially American campaign.
Once you beef up a bunch of characters to an absurd high level, it becomes hard to challenge them. Frankly I ran out of challenging enemies about six months ago; I was mostly just siccing the players on each other and dropping deus ex machinas on them when we managed to stay sober enough to game at all. No point in putting a lot of thought into a dangerous foe that is going to be eviscerated by 500 claw attacks in the first combat turn. With a lot of high level characters in the party, coming up with combat challenges was just not working out-and I can't get this group to do any of that high level intrigue stuff, they don't have the patience or experience.
It was a grand, glorious orgy of carnage that I am quite happy not to repeat. Let me tell you, fomori are not characters that can really drive a campaign for very long-once the shock of acid blood and brain eating wear off, the whole business becomes a rather numb affair of whirling claws, improbable drug cocktails and ichor stained sodomy.
Anyway, the next WoD campaign is probably going to be a hard sci-fi Hunter: The Reckoning. I think that might just be the thing to revitalize our fictional lives. I'm also probably going to fire up Pathfinder; I've been enjoying the Pathfinder rulebook a lot and some of my players have never done the classic "Dungeon Crawl." With some of their main gaming exposure being World of Darkness, I'm going to enjoy the chance to show them some of the D&D tropes instead.
Heh. Poor suckers won't even see it coming.
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