Recon

Monday, January 17, 2011

Pause: The Limits of "No Homo"

Ya'lls familiar with "No Homo" right?

It is what some absurdly macho, homophobic fucks do when they give a statement that they fear will be interpreted in a homosexual way. From UrbanDictionary.com :

NO HOMO

Phrase used after one inadvertently says something that sounds gay.
His ass is mine. No homo.

So naturally, being a guy with an entirely inappropriate and Nabokovian love affair with the English language, naturally I have to test the limits of No Homo, as in, just how gay of a statement is it a free pass for? Watch, ye mortal fucks, as Our Hero pushes this Magical +4 Talisman Against Appearing Queer to the very limits and beyond.

I LOVE THE PENIS. NO HOMO.
MAN, I COULD USE AN ENGORGED PULSING DICK IN MY VIRGIN ASS. NO HOMO.
YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY? SUCKING BALLS. NO HOMO.
DOES ANYONE WANT TO WATCH 16 CANDLES? NO HOMO.
SO, KNOW WHERE YOU CAN FIND A TRUCK STOP GLORY HOLE? NO HOMO.
CUM IS DELICIOUS. NO HOMO.

Well that is all I have for now. Did it look gay to you?

3 comments:

  1. You could read the phone book and it'd sound gay, ese.

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  2. You have no idea of how this brightened up my day!

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  3. I must lead a sheltered life because I've never heard anyone say "No homo" in the context you're describing. OTOH, now that I know what it means, your lampoonery is hilarious.

    ReplyDelete